he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
