1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
