One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
