how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
