Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
