yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
