Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
