my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
