I heard we made out
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I need to align my fucking chakras
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
