i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
