i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
