are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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