I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
