i was rollin on her like bob the builder
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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