I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
please come you make the beer taste better
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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