i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
