I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
