is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize