do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
