If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
