she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
How many fucks given?
0.12846
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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