At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
