Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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