U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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