my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
