then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
