who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
