I accidentally burped into my bong.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
