did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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