I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
