So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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