I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
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