I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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