Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
