love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
