You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
i black out too much to be "responsible"
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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