I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
