The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
