Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize
