It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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