brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Randomize
