Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
