explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
