Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
