its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
