I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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