you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Randomize
