"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
