break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
