Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
