I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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