Grow some girl-balls and come out already
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
