Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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