didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
vagina is talking i cant
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
