No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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