These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
