do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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