Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
