Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
