the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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