its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
