I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
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