Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
