We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
they're like a gay fantastic four
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
