I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
