I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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