Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
