Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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