you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
